Currently Listening Good Monsters By Jars of Clay see related

Home is where your heart is...

Tomorrow I will be going home for 1 of 2 times this semester. I am going home because I'll be at the bills game on Sunday but it is actually really good timing. I am looking forward to being home and just spending some needed time at home. I have found that as I have gotten older and been away at college longer, one thing that never changes is the need to get back to framiliarity...and nothing's better than home. Though "home" is not what it used to be, it's still something to which nothing else compares. I'm glad Kiera is coming too because as good as it is to be home, it can also be extremely boring...especially when broke. I like having Kiera come because it's really her only time to connect with my parents since she really doesn't get to any other time. I feel kind of bad that Kiera will be stuck with the parents while I'm at the game but she's a trooper and I'm sure she'll be fine...I mean, how bad can an entire day with Jeanna be?

Currently Listening Fight the Tide By Sanctus Real see related

To what extent can expectation be put on a friend?

That seems to be something I have been juggling with for a little while now and ultimately, I have been setting myself (and my friends) up for failure. It seems that in friendships, it is virtually impossible to keep from holding expectations. I mean, everyone understands that there are certain requirements that come with a relationship of any degree...but at what point does one cross the line between expectations and judgment? All would agree that friendships come with expectations but that no one wants to be judged for meeting or not meeting those expectations...

I feel a lot of this falls on me. This is my senior year and I want to have it be the best it can be...but at the same time I feel like I am trying to look towards the future in hopes of getting a glimpse of clarity through the haze that always seems to cover the answers for which I'm looking.
How much time do I spend with the guys? How much time do I spend with Kiera? How much effort do I put into either? What are the issues worth judging and what are the expectations that are too high and unrealistic? A part of me knows that most of the time I expect too much out of people and although I always feel like I am reliable as far as they are concerned, the truth is I probably disappoint them just as much but they are better at picking their fights than I am....possibly...

I think the fact that it seems the future (in all its uncertainty) is just hanging over me and I want/expect to have a consistency within my relationships--something to always have and to fall back on. I am sure my situation is no different than any other senior in college, but it's almost as though my awareness (and fear) of an uncertain future is being mimicked by my lack of confidence in my friends...

I guess the question is where do I go from here? I know that I need to just chill out and be more 'lax about things before I end up pushin people away...It's amazingly ironic how high expectations can too often yield the opposite results hoped for...instead of people meeting those expectations the expectations usually push the people further away...

I don't really know where I am going with this. My thoughts are kinda scattered. This whole thing reminds me of some lyrics by sanctus real:

 Well, to say the last few weeks have been busy would be an understatement...but now, looking back, I am so glad it's over and so proud of all that was accomplished.

Today marked my chapel speaking appearance and I felt really good about it. I began preparing about a month ago and was unsure of exactly what to say. I prepared for a timeslot of about 15 minutes but by the time I actually got up to speak after the chapel band and everything, I only had 7 minutes. So besided having to drop about half of what I had planned on covering, I would say it went very well.

As you can see from the pics below, It has been a busy few weeks as far as activities go. The picture of all of us on the couch is actually now blown up and hanging on the wall.

And in response to Andy's comment, yes--since leaving the Air Force, I have explored with the facial hair and let my hair grow out. I'm loving it and apparantly so is Kiera...She's always telling me she likes to play with my golden locks...that's right...I have locks now.

Oh yes, I am getting a new camera...an early Christmas gift from my parents. It's amazing and I'm excited to start playin around with it. My suitemate, Ryan also gave me a copy of photoshop (the new one) which is so complicated but once I figure it out, I think it will become my new obsession. Here are my first three attempts at playin around with the program...

This next one was especially difficult and Ryan did most of the work...but my glasses on my left side were almost hidden by the flash reflection that you can no longer see and, oh yeah...notice the pearly white teeth!

Pics from the last couple weeks:

Currently Listening Bang Bang see related

What is the deal with foreigners not using common sense?
To see what I am talking about, Click Here

This video HERE is a parody of American Idol...It's HILLARIOUS! You just need to watch the entire thing...it gets better and better and the impersonations are great.